Retirement Verses, Poems, Rhymes
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SEE THE FREE TO USE PROVISO TO THESE RETIREMENT VERSES, POEMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE
This retirement verses webpage brings you Retirement wishes, verses, poems, quotes, messages, wordings, sayings, text and greetings, including retirement poems for women. All are free, online and printable and all are funny tributes to friends, co-workers and relatives who are leaving or retiring. Poetry for retirement can be used as a verse for a retirement card, but these were primarily written for specific people in the form of funny short retirement poems. Each individual retirement rhyme could however be used as a card verse,
For verses and poems elsewhere
Retirement card verses are popular and can be found on this very nice website which has many fine examples of retirement card verse.
This page is mainly concerned with funny retirement verses, poems used for a speech and framed up as a retirement gift although many visitors to the site have adapted them as retirement verses for cards
Here is the first of the funny retirement poems, also described by those seeking them as retirement verses or retirement rhymes,
This retirement verse is one of many funny retirement poems you will find here
It is a set of Retirement poem verses to a close friend, who is...
A RETIRING POLICEMAN, A KEEN RUNNER, A WALKER, A KEEN GARDENER
You spent years as a bobby (cop)
Patrolling on the beat
Dishing out punishment..
...to your poor aching feet
You've done many a half marathon
Pounding along the street
You've walked miles round dale and mountain
We feel sorry for your feet
You're keen on growing spuds and things
Ankle deep in peat
Fair enough you're keen on vegetables
But think of your plates of meat
Sup beer, enjoy the grandkids
Give yourself a treat
Take advantage of your bus pass
Get slippers for your feet
Happy retirement Ernie
Your working life's complete
A career spanning 50 years
Now that's what we call a feat !!
That was the first of the many funny personalised poems for retirement you will find on this page
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This next one is a set of funny Retirement poem verses to a headmaster from teachers at his school
There are many retirement poems for teachers on this webpage. This first of the teacher retirement poems is for
A RETIRING HEADMASTER, who is a keen GOLFER and GARDENER. He is SHORT IN HEIGHT, is KEEN ON CLASSICAL MUSIC and is a CHOIR CONDUCTOR
The Head's Dilemma
Should I continue rigging league tables
Or retire early instead
I'm afraid the school's lost the race
By just a short head (groan !!)
A raspberry to the Governors Report
Difficult parents know what they can do
I'm off to play a bit of golf
Err...and scrub a floor or two
Oh dear...I'll have to do the housework
Scrubbing floors and all that stuff
'Cos 'Er indoors will have to work
The pension's not enough
This retirement lark's not easy
There's no gain without the pain
It can't be golf AND gardening
My knees won't stand the strain
Let's see...choir...golf...housework
That's an awful lot to do
I'm far too old to retire
I'll just stay at Sandhill View
Should I stick to my cushy number
Or vacuum and tend the soil?
I'll let the flip of a coin decide
Is it a Head or Toil?
Toil wins!!
Lots of love
etc
_________________
This next piece of funny retirement poetry is a set of Retirement poem verses to a work colleague
Poems about retirement are usually requested by co-workers, needing verses for retirement to be read out as a speech at the retirement party or gathering. Poems on retirement can also be framed as a retirement gift, as is the case of all the funny retirement verses on this page
RETIRING UNION REP / GAMBLER / METAL DETECTOR TREASURE HUNTER
A dedicated union man
Protecting the members' bread and butter
And on fruit machines and horses
You've been known to have a flutter
Whether "horse trading" or horse betting
There's many times you've won
Not just a skilled negotiator
But a jammy son of a gun
Armed with your metal detector
Lady luck and time for leisure
We're sure you'll make a million
Finding buried treasure
We'll miss your calming influence
You were articulate and rational
Good luck Brian...but before you go
Have you got a tip for the National?
Retirement wishes in this next one are to a Head Teacher. Retiring poems, sometimes called retirement odes are often in the form of funny rhymes like this next Head Teacher funny retirement poem verses
RETIRING HEADMASTER / CYCLIST / COMMUNIST / VERY TALL / WEIGHTWATCHER / KEEP FIT FAN
James, you're a very caring bloke
A principal with principles, so true
You cycle, drink and play guitar
Not an easy thing to do
Your love of Central America
Can be seen on what you wear
It's an odds on bet, to say you are
Just a little left of Blair
You're big on sport and keeping fit
And on America's Cuban flop
You're big on Education
You're just very big...full stop
You fast on all your white days
And have red and green days too
And you're also fond of the light brown days
When you sup a pint or two
This tribute's endorsed by all the staff
And your friends, of which there's many
The Government saved a quid or two
But squandered a good Penney
Good Luck etc
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Free to Use Proviso
If you are a Crafter or Private Individual you are free to use these retiement verses, retirement poems, retirement rhymes and wordings, without asking permission...
These poems and verses are also free to Card Makers who sell cards on
a semi commercial basis (i.e. sales of not more than 50 cards per week)
but note copyright law applies to
* the body of work in parts and as a whole
* individual verses, poems so far as commercial compani es are concerned
The retirement verses and poems on this webpage are mainly to / from co-workers. Poems for mom or mum and dad, parents, fiance, fiancee, spouses, husband or wife, friends, grandma or nan and grandad, brothers, sisters , children, grandchildren, best friend, mothers, sons or daughters are found on other pages of this website.
Expect many more 'verse for retirement' examples to be added at a later date