Writing own verses
(and adapting general verses)
by Jon Bratton
Card Making and Scrapbooking are wonderful pastimes and the end product, the handmade card or scrapbooking page is such a lovely thing for someone to receive. The recipient is entitled to feel special because the card / page was tailor made for them.
To do justice to the specialness of the card/page, shouldn't the same personal touch be applied to the poem or verse?
This section is to help those who need it to write original verses and/or to
personalise general or traditional poems or verses.
It is not about writing poetry in general so it doesn't deal with, for example, rhythm (metre) or form in any detail. You might try a very good book by Stephen Fry called The Ode Less Travelled
or for a very nice piece, online, CLICK HERE It is aimed at children but useful for all
_______________
RHYMING SCHEME
There are many different rhyming schemes and forms and some even have their own
names, like sonnet, limerick and clerihew but let's leave all the clever stuff to skilled rhymesters, who do not need to be reading this.
Verses or poems do not have to rhyme and if there is something very moving, poignant or important to say it's not worth trying to contrive a rhyme for it's own sake. It has been said that free verse (non rhyming) favours the serious while rhymes are suited to humour or light material. I tend to favour rhymes for card verses as they are usually, but not always, light and in any case I have found that seeking a rhyme has often led to additional poignancy.
The rhyming scheme I use for card verses (and would recommend even to
clever clogs') is
A any word
B rhyming word
C any word
B rhyming word
because it gives you the freedom to put all the hard-to-rhyme bits in the first and third lines
Let's start with a Wedding Day (Engagement) verse, chosen at random:
May this day of your Wedding (or Engagement)
Be filled with love and laughter
And may all your days ahead
Be happy ever after
The simplest way to personalise it, is merely to add the recipients' names in the first line :-
Maureen and Bill, may your wedding day
Be filled with love and laughter
And may all your days ahead
Be happy ever after
Or you could 'steal' the rhyming words of "laughter" and "after" but, otherwise, completely rewrite the verse in your own style, for example
Once upon a time, (you two met) (you met your Prince / Shining Knight)
And shared much love and laughter
May your marriage be a fairy tale
Happy Ever After
(The "Happy Ever After" ending inspired the introduction "Once upon a time" and then to the fairy tale idea.) With a little amendment this verse can also be an Anniversary verse :-
Once upon a time, you met
And shared much love and laughter
You're (five) years into your fairy tale
Living happy ever after
Or an engagement verse by changing the third line to:-
May your engagement continue the fairy tale
The fairy tale theme can also be used on the card front
You could also use the rhyming words in a completely different verse category, in this case, a work colleague get well card ;-
We're sorry you're feeling poorly, Bill
The (factory's) empty of your laughter
So get yerself well cos we miss you mate
You're a much sought-after grafter
or a Christmas card :-
May your Christmas be very merry
Full of fun and laughter
And may your New Year be the happiest
And stay that way thereafter
Now I'm not saying that 'laughter' and 'after' are classic rhymes...
there are only 5 words that rhyme (or 6 if you include BAFTA) but it shows what can be done with even this restrictive sound
So let's take a sound, filthy rich in rhymes
The 'ee' sound words, easily, are the biggest, by far, numerically
The initials B C D and E rhyme with G P T and V
There's loads of acronyms, you see
Like A & E, and DVD
Not to mention ESP and GMT
MBE, VAT and OAP
And of course B and B
I think I'm going OTT
And there's all the 'y' endings, obviouslee
To sum up, the words that have the sound of ' ee'
Number one thousand and seventy three
No kidding, 1073
Count 'em and I guarantee
You'll readily...
Agree with me
The 'ee' sound certainly has the most rhyming words but it's not necessarily the most used in card verses.
However, because there are so many rhymes it means you could, if you wish, break away from the ABCB rhyme scheme and write a verse with every line,and even within the line, rhyming just as I did...
here's a couple of card verse examples
Here's us... hoping avidly
Your recovery...will be trouble-free
And very soon..we shall see
You fit..as fit can be
..or
Here's hoping very avidly
Your house move will be trouble-free
And very soon you will be
Settled very comfortably
I bet you're thinking "he gave us a rule and then broke it". Well no, I'm not
taking back what I said at the beginning; that format would be difficult to
usewith other less numerous rhymes.
From here on in, I shall be sticking rigidly to ABCB
USEFUL TEMPLATES
Here's a simple ABCB template
Da da da da da da
This card is sent to say
Da da da da da da da
On this your special day
You can use this for any occasion, for example
Christening
Its Billy Junior's Christening
This card is sent to say
Enjoy, and be filled with pride
On your very special day << note the slightly altered last line
Fathers Day
Dad, you're my Superhero
This card is sent to say
Go to the pub and sup some ale
On your very special day
Retirement
Old Billy Atkinson, you're past it
This card is sent to say
You're now free as a bird, you lucky old sod
Today's your retirement day << again, the last line tweaked slightly
Get Well
With the warmest of wishes
This card comes to say << a slightly altered 2nd line
We hope that you're recovering
Getting better by the day << last line tweaked
There's 80 or so words where no rhymes exist, yet people always pick out
orange as the word that nothing rhymes with. What I say is, it matters
not...just don't use such words at the end of the 2nd and 4th lines.
As we know, anything can be said in the 1st and 3rd lines and in the middle of the 2nd and 4th lines
So, using this template :-
David Dickinson, orange birthday boy
Here's an orange card to say
You can be more orange than King Orange of Orangeland
Have the happiest orange day
Massively exaggerated, but point made, I hope
Here's another template that could be used for any occasion,
This is a special hand-made card, Bill
With a message to impart
dada dada dada dada dada
These words come from the heart
The 3rd line can deal with the occasion
For Retirement: You've earned retirement, so enjoy it, mate
For Christmas: Have the very bestest Christmas
For Good Luck: The best of luck (in your new job)
And yet another generic template
You're all grown up, now (dear Son) (Grandson)
As anyone can see
Have a happy (16th) birthday
From (your Dad) (Grandad) and me
__________
USING THE PERSON'S NAME
It goes without saying that the most personal thing you can use in the verse is the recipient's name and if the recipient has a good rhyming name you have the choice to:
* use it in the 1st or 3rd lines, like the one above where Bill's name is
used at the end of the 1st line
or....
* use it at the end of the 4th line, for greater effect
Hope this and your next birthday's happy,
And the whole year in between
This verse and card were especially made
Just for you Maureen
If you, the hand made cardmaker, are lucky enough to have a good rhyming name then you can use your name at the end of the 4th line
So, if Bill and Maureen, wish to say Happy Birthday to Bill's Uncle Joshua
Happy Birthday, Uncle Joshua
Enjoy today.... we know you will
This comes with love from Maureen
And your drinking partner, Bill
If the sender does not have a good rhyming name, no problem
Our nephew Pete's a great bloke
As anyone can tell
This birthday wish is from Uncle Olaf
And Auntie Silvia, as well
If the name (Sunday name or shortened name) is no good for rhyming, how about the initial?
This card is sent to say....
Happy Birthday Billy J
On this your Wedding Day...
...Mr and Mrs A
A, J and K
B, C, D, E, G, P, T and V
I and Y
Q, U and W
These are the only letters that can be grouped. Each group has well over 100 rhymes and, as we already know, the BCDE etc group has over 1000 rhymes. All the rest FGHLMNORSXZ are individual but they have plenty of rhymes except for H which seems to have none, and F has very few.
It's very easy to make yourself a rhyming ready reckoner.
Just go through the alphabet in your head and list all the rhymes for each letter eg:
Q, U, W ado, accrue, barbeque, blue, brew, boo, canoe, chew, cue, clue, do, flew, gnu, glue, grew, hue, Hugh, hullabaloo, in lieu, jew, kangaroo, loo, moo, new, ooh, pew, queue, rue, Stu, spew, stew, screw, true, too, two, woo, you, YooHoo, zoo
...to name but a few
or, you could invest in, for example, Chambers Rhyming Dictionary £7.99
Or you could go to this fantastic website
www.rhymezone.com
Numbers can be used as a personal factor (for age or years together or address) and sometimes they can be used in the 2nd line as a rhyme:
We wish a Merry Christmas
To all at 23
From the Atkinsons at 25
That's grumpy Bill and me
How many years together?
My goodness, it's 42
When they joined you two together
They used mighty powerful glue
The numbers up to ten are pretty good for rhyming except 7,
there's "heaven" "eleven" "Devon" and "Kevin" and little else.
When it comes to rhyming with twenty, there's plenty. By that I mean there's only one, the word "plenty"
The person's age can be used to rhyme, for example 'eight' rhymes nicely with 'celebrate', as in:-
Today's a very special day
A day to celebrate
For today is your birthday
You've reached the grand old age of eight (twenty-eight, thirty-eight etc)
However, there's no need to be locked in to rhyming with the number...
simply put the age anywhere but at the end of the second or fourth lines eg:
You've grown up very (pretty) (handsome)
As anyone can see
Well done, you're now eight years old
That's a smashin' age to be
The special ages of 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80...are not good for rhyming but
when used as "the big three-O", "four-O", "five-O" and so on, the rhyming possibilities greatly increase. The -oe- sound has lots of simple rhyming words/expressions like ago, get-up-and-go, from-top-to-toe, show,
slow and so on.
Congratulations, Billy
You've reached the big "Four-O"
You were born in the last millennium
So that's a long, long time ago
While on numbers, it is useful to use, for example, 39 for anyone over 40:
Happy Birthday (Billy)
And my, don't you look fine
Given your advancing years
Fast approaching 39
Or
You've outgrown my lap, but not my heart
O (Maureen) daughter of mine
Growing up is for trees, so why not stay
Forever 39
Or use the same approach for, not just the recipient's age but the sender's as well:
You're (24) already, (son)
Nearly over the hill, oh my
And as you face advancing years
Unfortunately, so do I
So let's make a deal together
We'll use the same party line
You're a smidgin' over 21 (You're a little under 21)
I'm a tad over 39 (I'm not quite 39)
And bringing Granny into the ruse
I heard about your mother's deal
I'll go along with it, that's fine
Now, raise your arm and swear this oath
"My Grandma's 59"
THE -UE- SOUND
This 'ue' sound is often used in card verses, particularly using the words
"true" "too" "you". "You" is often used at the end of the 4th line
The obvious example is the old chestnut
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
Ending a card verse with "you" is very useful for obvious reasons.
For example:
At the family's heart is Mother
Whose love is warm and true
Our family home was a special place
All credit's due to you
..or
You're a caring, sharing person
And bright and breezy, too
You' re the very bestest boyfriend
It's no wonder I love you
..or
We wish you all the very best
In everything you do
As you (start your new job) (leave for Australia) (Etc...)
The very best of luck to you
__________
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE 4th LINE
The humour or poignancy is usually best left to the 4th line and that often means using the 2nd line as the feed in.Work out the last line for best effect then be prepared to sacrifice the 2nd line for the sake of rhyming. The example template is a case in point where the 2nd line is:
"This card is sent to say"
Although the 2nd line is often a throwaway, occasionally, a gem emerges eg:
Looking for a feed to "He was flat out on the floor" there wasn't a lot of choice in suitable rhymes and when "war" was considered, the verse emerged as:-
Does Billy like to take a drink?
Was Hitler fond of war?
Remember last New Years Eve
He was flat out on the floor
I talked earlier about personalising general verses but sometimes general
verses just don't fit. A card manufacturer will not write verses for very
specific things like someone going into hospital for, say, a hip replacement.
A generic "Get Well Soon" verse doesn't really fit the bill. That's where
thinking of the ending and then working backwards really works, so:
This card is sent to cheer you
As your'e confined to bed
I'm sure it will be all worthwhile
In the happier days ahead
...or
A shop bought card saying" Get Well Soon"
Didn't seem to fit the bill
This hand made card hopes that "Pretty soon...
...You'll be galloping up the hill"
...or
We know the op's a pain in the bum
But better late than never
And think of the relief you're going to feel
When those piles are gone forever!
There are occasions when just the right feel to the verse is required and the fourth line is the starting place. The following verse was used in a sympathy card from a group, in this case a rugby team to a former team member, and the collective sentiment had to be appropriate.The last line chosen was "In our hearts, you'll be there"
So the verse:-
The final whistle's come too soon
It doesn't seem quite fair
But, each time the team takes to the pitch
(Billy), in our hearts, you'll be there
A good 4th line ending is " very much" as in I love you very much or
Thank you very much
not an easy rhyme but there's "loving touch" or
"such and such" or
"my rock, my crutch"
Here's a couple of examples
You're really very naughty
A right such and such
I said presents were a No No
But thank you very much
(Jeremy) have a lovely day
As you enter Paradise
Look out for the girl in the big white frock
You'll find her very nice
Take your place by her side
Squeeze her hand with a loving touch
Say "I do" and she will too
For she loves you very much
She knows that you love her too
And that you'll always be her rock
This card, it comes with the fondest love
From the girl in the big white frock
And since this is about writing personalised verses for hand made cards the second line "This card is hand made, not bought" can be used as follows:
To say (Daniel) (Mrs White) you're special
This card is hand made, not bought
We'll miss you so very much
Thanks for your support
May your 15th year be your very best
Happy Birthday, Sport
I wasn't always well behaved
But I was always so well taught
FATHERS DAY
Some useful rhyming words for Dad
add, mad, lad, glad, sad
example template
You were always there as I grew up
________2nd line___________
________ 3rd line __________
I'm so proud that you're my Dad
Suggested second lines
You taught me good from bad
Through the good times and the bad
Through the happy times, and sad
And even though you're barking mad
And, as you know, I was a bit of a lad
And sometimes you got hopping mad
And I'm so very glad
So solid, and reliable, let me add
The third line doesn't need to rhyme so can be anything
eg:-You were my rock to lean on
It's no wonder that I love you
And completely off your trolley
In the lottery of life, I got the best
You're the very bestest in the world
So, Mr. (John William Smith) of (Consett)
__________
USING SHARED CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS
Birthdays shared with a Celebrity can be a useful source of inspiration for
both the theme of the design and also the verse inside.
For example, if you were making a card for a man who is keen on cars, and driving generally, and his birthday happened to be 17th September you would have really struck lucky because your man shares a birthday with, not just Damon Hill, but Stirling Moss as well.
Similiarly, a keen golfer born on 9th February shares a birthday with
Sandy Lyle and Bernard Gallagher.
Here's all the doublers found so far
22nd Jan Boxers Nigel Benn & George Foreman
9th Feb Golfers Sandy lisle & Bernard Gallacher
23rd March Speed Record Breakers Roger Bannister & Donald Campbell
29th April Rhyming Dukes Duke Ellington & Duke of Wellington
27th May Horror Stars Christopher Lee & Vincent Price
10th July Tennis Stars Virginia Wade & Arthur Ashe
8th Sept Goons Harry Secombe & Peter Sellers
12th Sept Surname Colours Linda Gray & Barry White
17th Sept Racing Drivers Stirling Moss & Damon Hill
25th Sept Husband/Wife Stars Michael Douglas & Cath Zeta Jones
13th Oct Female Tory Politicians Margaret Thatcher & Edwina Currie
27th Oct Footballers Glenn Hoddle & Lee Clark
31st Oct Sir J.S. Sir Jimmy Saville & Sir Joseph Swan
1st Dec Comedy Stars Woody Allen & Richard Pryor
Billy's birthday is 22nd Jan
Billy, you're argumentative
And you'll probably say you're not
Your birthday's shared with George Foreman and Nigel Benn
So that explains a lot
Of course it can work just as well with just one celeb or two distinctly
different ones.
Lets take Bob who's birthday is 6th May, so:-
Bob, you're such a smooth talker
And so good looking or what?
Your birthday's shared with Tony Blair and George Clooney
So that explains a lot
That template can be used for anybody, so lets take Billy's brother Ben's birthday
Ben, you're such a football nut
And an intellectual swot
You share your birthday with Glenn Hoddle and Dylan Thomas
So that explains a lot
Notice the second line ending can vary, as in:-
* And you've always been a swot
* Ever since you left the cot
* And that (sense of humour) (clumsiness) (beautiful face) you've got
* We think you've lost the plot
* And your (singing's) (dancing's) (sense of fashion's) really hot
And Billy's brother Bart
(23rd April)
It's your birthday and St George's Day
You've always been a swot
Bart, it's the Bard's birthday too
So that explains a lot
More variations on the theme..
It's (Celebrity Name)'s birthday
A person who's gone far
Coincidentally, it's your birthday
My own Superstar.
..or perhaps, it's more fun to be sarky
It's (Celebrity Name)'s birthday
That's a coincidence I'd say
He's talented and good looking
And ...it's your birthday today
You share a birthday with (Celebrity Name)
A very famous name
He's very slim and earns fat cheques
And you're sort of...close to being the same
It's your's and (Celebrity Name)'s birthday
That's a coincidence, I find
He's talented, rich and good looking
And you're not....arhhhh...never mind
..........I love you, anyway
__________
USING THE CHINESE CALENDAR
The Chinese believe that the animal ruling the year in which a person
is born has a profound influence on personality saying "This is the animal
that hides in your heart"
There are 12 animals and so each animal features every twelve years.
The following table covers the period 1924-2007
Rat 24 36 48 60 72 84 96
Ox 25 37 49 61 73 85 97
Tiger 26 38 50 62 74 86 98
Rabbit 27 39 51 63 75 87 99
Dragon 28 40 52 64 76 88 00
Snake 29 41 53 65 77 89 01
Horse 30 42 54 66 78 90 02
Sheep 31 43 55 67 79 91 03
Monkey 32 44 56 68 80 92 04
Rooster 33 45 57 69 81 93 05
Dog 34 46 58 70 82 94 06
Boar 35 47 59 71 83 95 07
We all know a rat or two, thankfully the occasional tiger (but note,
Tiger Woods, ironically, is a rabbit), a few snakes (in the grass),
several sheep, the odd cheeky monkey & more dogs than you can
shake a stick at.
And here's a template verse
Today, you're (30), born in ('74)
According to Chinese legend, ah so
There's an animal lurking inside you
You're a (tiger), don't ya know
If it happens to be tiger, and if it's appropriate, what about....
So, birthday (boy)
Let's sin
On your tiger skin
Here's some other endings
Happy birthday, you dirty rat
What a coincidence, that you married one, as well (dragon)
Beefy and juicy, that's my ox, oh!
You can boar me anytime
You'll have to come up with your own for rooster
Strictly speaking, it is about the year of birth but the concept needn't be
confined to just birthday cards. Anniversary cards could use this theme,
the year representing the birth of the subject's marriage.
__________
IN CONCLUSION
We hope this has given you a few ideas or, at least, expanded your options.
Although all these example verses are available for card makers to use, this
whole piece on writing personalised verses is copyright of Jon Bratton 2007,
and individual verses may not be used by commercial companies.
USING NUMBERS